APAP. The Frequency of Pleasure. Plus: Marianne Williamson on the Podcast
Hello all, from the quartz crystal veined mountains of North Carolina, where we have just closed our Living Tantra spring retreat; it was such a deep experience that we promptly booked the same week for next year- if you’re intrigued, please plan ahead for May 13-17, 2026.
I’m thrilled to welcome a true wisdom bringer, the iconic Marianne Williamson to the podcast this week- we talk structural and spiritual economics, she tells personal stories and poetic insights from fable and myth to point us to some magnificent wisdom on aging. And, of course, leaves us with a mandate to find in ourselves a fierce love to activate in for all Earth’s children and our home planet.
I’ve been having some rich conversations on other people’s programs recently, including this one with Dr. Cat Meyer on the Love, Sex and Psychedelics Podcast, where we talk about Eros as THE force of life, not just a sexual thing, and the changing choices we have for thriving across the lifespan.
This weekend, we are at the Holomovement Wave event in Asheville, NC. I’ll be offering a prototype celebration during the event, called Wonder Sunday, and a keynote drawn from the Nine Lives of Woman- will share more of that as it becomes available. If you are local, there are day passes open for great talks and artists such as DJ Taz Rashid or Ayla Nereo.
XO, CMM
As Pleasurable as Possible.
Pleasure and joy are the hydrogen fuel, the fusion energy, the zero point propulsion for living at full capacity. In times of challenge, they are more needed than ever.
I was in a sweaty deep candlelit yoga practice and the room felt so amazing and I thought “in a yoga studio with devoted practitioners is my absolute favorite place to be.” But then I was walking in the woods with the intoxicating scent of bay laurel and redwoods and wet duff and I thought, “Walking in the woods in northern California after the first rain is my absolute favorite place to be.” And then I was laying in bed with my partner and we were doing a comedy bit, complete with accents and LOLs, all warm and intertwined, and I thought, “Being in bed doing accents is my absolute favorite place to be.”
And it continued like that… in the kitchen pinching and sprinkling and stirring; putting a rose latte down in front of a guest; being in the lab making new formulas; opening spaces for deep attunement; singing with beloved friends and strangers; walking in the sunrise garden at Sundari; deep in some esoteric text; matching up people who would otherwise not meet; loving on the plants; making things more beautiful. These are all my favorite places to be.
This is the frequency of pleasure—a space that feels timeless and flowing. In this state of mind, one’s energy is boundless. Sleep is less vital, the proportion of deep sighs declines, the rumination ends, the light comes into the creases and crevices of the body and the day. From this joy, I serve creation, including the people in it, with my unreserved whole heart and all the gifts I’ve been given.
Where do I not like to be? In the frequency of complaint or fear. In spaces of comparison, fault finding or snark. Wearing high heels, unless we’re costuming. At networking events. Shopping. Almost anything distracted from embodied presence or real relationship. Google Analytics. Compliance. In recurring loops of unmediated relational bullshit.
But, because these things are often part of life, I reframe them, and learn the skills to make them APAP—as pleasurable as possible, so thay I can be good at them in some measure, or at least to cultivate indifference to them. If possible, I delegate or simply say a quiet no.
You will of course have your own lists.
I learned this trick for when I am stuck or uncomfortable, I ask: How can I feel this more fully? How can I take more agency over my experience? How can I make this moment more pleasurable? How can I move? What can I add or take away from the environment? How can I shift my thinking and being in this moment right now?
In a tense conversation, I might ask myself, what would pleasure do? The answer is usually take a big breath, soften or move or shake the body, zoom out to the long arc of life, open my aperture of love.
In the DMV, what would pleasure do? Usually put on some great music, or chat up someone I would otherwise never cross paths with.
Even asking the question “what would pleasure do” might provoke some puritanical scorn, but I’m not talking hedonism… unless that’s your true pleasure. For most people, it turns out not to be that at all. For example, pleasure can point me to cleaning up my space or planting the garden, because beauty would be more pleasurable. Or, like my friend Leigh, who in the middle of the cancer ward, asked how can I make this moment more pleasurable? and it guided her to craft warm and super soft affirmation blankets to bring more comfort in the difficult moments of treatment. It’s making the phone call you don’t want to make because clearing things makes life more pleasurable. It’s sitting for hours willingly diving into a tender conversation because a relationship matters. It’s the joy of working really hard, because of the deep pleasure in the craft, and in the likely outcome.
So, APAP. Try it out, as a thought experiment. Let me know how it goes.
XO
PS I recommend the 2019 book Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good by Adrienne Marie Brown, where she offers mindset altering interviews on this topic at the cultural level.
