September 2022

The weight of Colin’s half asleep embrace, squirrels pelting pine cones onto the roof, my heart is racing as the sun comes up. In my half dream state, it was opening night of Sensing Woman, the walls has been painted dark red, the space had tripled in size, my keynote speaker was late, no one was checking the door, I had forgotten my notes…oof. So I get out of bed a little flustered. The cabin gives me the rapture of the tidy, some bit of order and simple beauty- every drawer is cleaned out the laundry done the bills are paid, so there’s that. I sit with the fear dream and thank it for showing me what is alive in my suppressed thoughts, before the day pastes over them. I remember being little, often confused, never being able to do enough or get it quite right, and recognize that this anxiety dream has the same feeling tone. This is old. This is not now. I light the morning altar and start to sing. Colin brings coffee. Love, serve, remember. The things that come up in the free form singing of prayers also reveal what is in the field. We have a cleansing cry over the heatwaves and fires and the ice melting. A prayer for the end of toxic individualism. I include my fractured relations at Sundari. I include my team at Rosebud and my family. Colin is grateful for friendship and asks for clarity in being a better friend. I ask for the event and its long tail to help restore the light to the feminine pole in human culture - 50/50 as it is in the rest of the organic world. Let my work be done with devotion and discipline and kindness and a playful spirit. In ten minutes, a day of back to back calls begins, so much exciting stuff happening. Goddess willing there will be a long end-of-the-day practice and a wander in the trees, alongside these beautiful steadfast beings, in their territory: the land of inter-breathing and 300 years of dynamic stillness.

Happy Tuesday morning.

May you be in love and on purpose.

Christine