Replacing Structured Hatred with Structured Love
June marks the observance of Diversity Awareness Month, placing a significant focus on LGBTQIA rights. With each passing year, it seems, new letters are added to the acronym, a symbol not of confusion, but of the broadening awareness of the reality of the spectrum of sexual identities and preferences. This progression helps illuminate the diverse ways humans experience and express their sexuality, making us question and redefine what the culture has previously considered as 'normal' or 'conforming.'One thing has become clear amidst this expanding spectrum: we need to adapt, open our minds, and cultivate acceptance. Our role is simple – to love people for who they are, unconditionally. We strive to appreciate the rich diversity in human identities and expressions, much like the diversity in nature.Wouldn't it be monotonous if all the flowers were roses or all the trees were oaks? It's the diversity in nature that makes it enchanting, functional, and balanced. The same principle applies to human society. The myriad forms and expressions of human identity contribute to the breathtaking panorama of life.Gender identity, sexuality and sexual preferences are no different. They are diverse and should be respected and appreciated. The idea of conformity in sexual relationships – for instance, the traditional narrative of intimacy only between a man and a woman – dismisses the true diversity and richness of human sexuality.Sex, as we understand, serves both pleasure and procreation, and these are not mutually exclusive. Renowned author Margot Anand wrote about the magic of intimate and sexual connection, arguing it is one of the most profound ecstatic states that humans can experience. This is a peak, drug-free, altered state of consciousness, which historically used to be part of religious ceremonies. Unfortunately, many power structures, such as churches and governments, have sought to regulate and monopolize these ecstatic states, subverting the beauty of human sexuality. The taboo has been so great, that in many places, one can be killed for having a different sexual expression.However, letting go of preconceived notions and judgments often brings a sense of grief. If we personally suppressed a range of desire or identities, it can be heartrending to realize that we've expended so much energy trying to fit into certain molds that society deemed inviolable, only to find out that those molds were never truly universal. This grief can be even more poignant when we see others now embracing the freedom to express their identities authentically. Who might we have been?Reclaiming the freedom to be who we are sexually is about more than individual autonomy. It's about reclaiming our natural right to inhabit our bodies as we see fit. In a civil society, our sexual preferences, dependent on biology, wiring, and personal preference, should not influence our civil rights. If someone wants to express their identity in a particular way – through their clothing or choice of partner or choice of turnon – it's not our place to judge. Instead, we should celebrate and appreciate their authenticity as another facet of humanity.This open-mindedness might not come easily to everyone, especially those raised within rigid cultural norms around sexuality. But by exploring and understanding the spectrum of human experiences, we become more accepting and supportive of those expressing different forms of identity and preference. This also allows us to question and explore our own preferences.Here, in the middle of the culture wars, we seem to have a choice to make: Can we replace structured hatred with structured love?Structured hatred refers to a societal framework that consistently promotes discrimination, prejudice, or hostility against certain individuals or groups based on specific characteristics, such as race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, or socioeconomic status. In a system characterized by structured hatred, discriminatory beliefs and practices are so deeply ingrained and normalized in the society's institutions—like laws, policies, social norms, educational systems—that they perpetuate inequality, even unconsciously.Such systems often exist even without overt expressions of hatred by individuals. Instead, the prejudice is woven into the fabric of society and its structures, creating an environment where certain groups are systematically disadvantaged, marginalized, or oppressed.Structured love would be a societal framework that promotes acceptance, compassion, understanding, and equality across all levels of society. In essence, structured love is about creating institutions and societal norms that prioritize love, respect, and care for all individuals, regardless of their race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, or socioeconomic status.To promote structured love, we would need to:
- Educate for Empathy
- Advocate for Equality
- Foster Inclusive Communities
- Cultivate Individual Mindfulness
- Lead with Compassion
Replacing structured hatred with structured love is a rich and deep calling for all of us. We can celebrate the diversity of our sexual identities rather than see them as threats or deviations. By doing so, we can contribute to building a more just world, fostering what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. referred to as the 'beloved community.' Let us love each other for who we are, appreciating the wonderful diversity of human experiences. In doing so, we realize that our only job is to love people as they appear in our lives, acknowledging their choices and expressions, and trusting their journey, as well as our own.