Founder Letter: Chill Out and Love Each Other
Dear Rosies,
As a mother of 4, a "fairy stepmother" or bonus mom to 2, and a grandmother, I know a little about what these roles can look and feel like. I was raised by my stepmother, not my biological mother, for many years. The love in all relationships is real and not limited to biology. Did you know that throughout history, 1 in 5 women ended their childbearing years without having had a biological child? It's closer to 1 in 4 now, and in some places like Tokyo, 1 in 3 (but Earth isn't complaining about the reduced workload, right?)
There's so much toxic individualism that we can't see how beautiful it is that some are carrying life literally forward. Some carry life in social modalities, learning and advancement, and other forms of creativity. We need all these roles in the human social organism. Not either/or, but both/and. We are all creators, creatrixes.
Plus, we all know that there are infinite combinations of who is living together, loving each other, supporting each other- grandparents raising kids, men supporting their ex-lovers financially when under no obligation to do so, neighbors taking in stray children, brothers, and sisters sharing a home as adults, and of course our chosen family and friends. Rachel Lehmann Haupt even writes about networks of DoSis or Donor Siblings.
So, let us please stop applying our filters and values and judging people's personal choices. The nuclear family with evangelical gender roles is a tiny slice of the human experience across space and time. We can like it for ourselves but can't deify it and denigrate those who choose differently. Family is our circle of relatedness and caring- and when we see others doing it, we invite a general softening and mercy to let others be themselves.
As a philosopher, I know many ways to understand the individual "I." We may be a self-replicating process inside creation and not a thing at all. Maybe life wants itself, and that's why we exist.
Chill out and love each other. Love the people before you, serve each other, uplift each other, and leave no one out.
Love,
Christine