Walking in the River
Hello everyone,
I’m so thrilled to be heading to The Science of Consciousness in a few days to present a paper called Wired to Switch: Ancient Wisdom and Modern Science on Unity States of Consciousness (see the poster image at the bottom of the page). The basic premise of the talk is that we are biologically wired to move between states of transcendance, immanence and separation, and that those skills can be cultivated, with broad implications for mental health, collective wellbeing, ecological consciousness and social design. The research ties in some of the work in Mantra, Tantra and Ayahuasca: Sex, Drugs and Rock’n’Roll in Search of the Sacred. I'm joining the incredible scholars of consciousness Tam Hunt, Tim Mullen and Jonathan Schooler, who are offering their new work, among others, so look for a recap in the coming weeks.
Speaking of Tantra… if you’re ready to step fully into the promise of this life, and you are curious about what the ancients had to say about how to do this, the next 6 week cohort of Living Tantra starts 9/16/25, with a European and a US time offering. Tantra sees the body is a divine expression, a gateway and a source of full vibrancy. This way of life is a true antidote to any lingering beliefs that the body is a problem. In the course, I frame classical tantra, neotantra and sacred sexuality. We do extensive energy practices, explore our internalized beliefs and expand our capacity to move with and through various emotions. We learn how to navigate sensation in ways that profoundly improve our relationships (in and out of the sexual arena), and deepen our connection with the world. It’s a fun and personal container, and I heartfully invite you to join us.
Walking in the River: The Precision of Changing Terrain
June 26, 2025- I step down from the stone washes that cradle the Escalante River to walk in the the water, which is ankle to knee deep at this time of year.
Walking in a river is its own kind of meditation—a hyper-focused practice of presence. Sometimes, the riverbed is silky and lush on the feet, silted with fine sand. In those stretches, my steps are long and smooth. This is how life often feels in the pauses: steady and aligned, easily carried, the current of being moves with grace. Here I can look up and out, at the impossibly blue sky, the sinewy rocks, smell the sagebrush. I can even take pictures.
Then the terrain shifts: a narrowing or an elevation change occurs, rocks might accumulate, or a deeper pool collect. The water moves faster. Sometime moss and slime collect. Here I slow down to pay attention. I tune into the soles of my feet. Feel the stones beneath the surface. Find the next hold. Keep more weight on the back leg until the front finds sure ground. In these transition stretches, one can only move one step at a time, guided by full body listening.
The changing footing call for a beautiful, precise attention- intense and close in to the body- yet without grasping, clasping or anxiety. The breath still stays loose. The inner experience still remains wide open and spacious. The body is here, the mind is vast, the perception is clear. I move, deeply attuned to self, place, earth and current, with no need, or even the possibility, to disassociate or physically flee.
And then, just like that, the riverbed shifts again. The bottom smooths, the silt returns. I look up and out, lengthen my stride and follow the current.
In the years that I’ve been working with transformation and awakening, it’s just pure pattern recognition to notice how many people resist change, and how intensely, even when what’s being invited it gorgeous beyond one’s wildest dreams.
We go the medicine ceremony, retreat or workshop, amd have some catharsis or breakthrough, some aha moment, and we come home and forget. Retreats and peak experiences awaken high-frequency states that lift old densities to the surface for release, but the half-life of an unintegrated insight can be a matter of days. Without conscious integration, we often take soul-deep realizations and turn them into conceptual trophies instead of letting them soak into our being.
The primary reason is that the mind craves familiarity. It equates “what I know” with safety, even if what it knows is painful. The ego structure wraps itself around identity patterns, old coping mechanisms, and habitual rhythms. To truly change is to risk the dissolving of who you've taken yourself to be, and to risk the old ways of relating to others. So, the mind may subtly reassert old identity patterns. The weight of social expectation and past pain can cause us to collapse back into the known. It may be helpful to notice that the recoil into known identity can also come from simple overwhelm. Our insight or intuition about change is real, yet the body isn’t ready to hold it.
As we return home, the task isn’t to hold on to peak states, but to allow the new structures to stabilize in your being. To follow what feels alive and wise moment to moment. Resistance to change, or avoiding or fighting against discomfort, is the antithesis of integration. In integration, discomfort becomes an ally; you learn to lean in slightly to sensation. We learn to meet the discomfort with precision and love and go forward anyway.
The art seems to be to not collapse back into who you were, but to let what’s emerging take root slowly. Not to rush. Resist the impulse to define yourself again: “I am this.” Instead, just witness.
Our educational systems, social structures, and economic models leave little room for authentic transformation, especially the kind that doesn’t yield measurable productivity. And real change is often higly unproductive. It often feels awkward, quiet, sometimes even boring. It asks for courage, patience, and a gentleness of releasing what was. Of being okay with ambiguity.
Integration is not a mental task. It is vibrational, experiential, alive. There is no map. It wants us to allow a radical unknowing. Ask: What is true now? and now?
By allowing the time and space for integration, by planning open days after any retreat or ceremony, open hours after therapy, open spaces after peak experiences, we make room for the deep, soul-led transformations that invite us to into more of our essence, to become ever more free.
New from Radiant Farms: Tranquility is a blend of three powerful botanicals. 30 mg of Hawaiian Kava, 30 mg of Egyptian Blue Lotus, and 30 mg ofAmazonian Bobinsana. It is a full-spectrum offering for calm, softness, and presence. Use for: Nervous system decompression.Emotional integration and dreamwork. Non-pharma pathways to rest and healing. No Sugar Added. Freeze Dried Organic Fruit Squares. 20 squares. $40.
Poster for TSC- if you want to explore this, join our community calls.
