Single Hearted with Bella DePaulo
Our first show of the new season: the joy of being single, and the movement toward unmarried equality, with acclaimed social scientist and leading scholar of the single life, Dr. Bella DePaulo. Bella DePaulo (Ph.D., Harvard University) has always been single and always will be. The Atlantic calls her “America’s foremost thinker and writer on the single experience.” She is the author of ”Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life.” Her TEDx talk, “What No One Ever Told You About People Who Are Single,” has been viewed more than 1.7 million times. You can learn more about her at her website, www.BellaDePaulo.com.
ABOUT THE BOOK
It's common knowledge: Single people are lonely, desperate for a partner, and envious of every couple they see. They struggle later in life, never feel fulfilled, and would just love for you to set them up with your neighbor’s nephew.
But, what if society’s ideas about single people—who, by the way, comprise half of the adult population—were wrong?
In SINGLE AT HEART: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life (Apollo; December 5, 2023), Dr. Bella DePaulo challenges the notion that single life is something people settle for, and shows that for millions, in every part of the world, being unpartnered is the key to their most joyful, fulfilling, authentic, and psychologically rich life. Those people are “single at heart.” Using survey data from more than 20,000 people from more than 100 different countries, DePaulo shows that contrary to conventional wisdom, those who embrace single life grow happier as they age and are better situated to navigate old age than those who built their lives around romantic relationships.
Drawing on more than three decades of social science research, and her own experience as a 70-year-old who has been happily single her entire life, DePaulo—whose TEDx Talk on the topic has more than 1.7 million views—paints a bold and groundbreaking picture of the myriad benefits of investing in your single life. Single people have the freedom to travel and live how and where they want. They typically experience stronger friendships that have been prioritized over the years, report lower rates of loneliness at all ages, and have more time to commit to their communities and causes. They can enjoy intimacy on their own terms and understand that love encompasses far more than just romantic relationships. They’re thrilled not to be part of the 50 percent of married folks who split, or are stuck in bad marriages, or even those who are in good marriages.
There is, however, one element of being single that DePaulo does decry: the stigma around it and the strong social pressure against it. While empowering and celebrating the consciously uncoupled, SINGLE AT HEART also defangs some of the most negative stereotypes by sharing the life stories of people around the globe who are living the best versions of their lives by staying single. If you're not single at heart yourself, you will almost definitely recognize a friend or family member in these pages.
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